Humours 小幽默

——中 选译

A Married Man is Preferable 已婚男士优先

   “ Just why do you want a married man to work for you, rather than a bachelor? ” asked the curious chap.

    “ Well, ” sighed the boss, “ the married men don't get so upset if I yell at them. ”

    有个好奇的家伙问：“你为什么要已婚男士而不是单身汉为你工作？”

    “是这样，”老板叹口气说，“已婚男士在我对他们大喊大叫时，不会如此心烦。”

Memory Cells 记忆细胞

    As I was browsing through an old newspaper, I read aloud to my wife a news item about men losing their memory cells faster than women do.

    “ It must be true, ” she said. “ This is the second time you read that article to me. ”

    我翻阅着一份旧报纸，大声地给妻子读一则消息，上面说男人的记忆细胞比女人的失去得快。

    “说得太正确了。”妻子说，“这已经是你第二次给我读这篇文章了。”

Only One Instance 头一次遇到

    Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word “ Fool ” . Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words ：“ I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter. ”

    一个星期天，亨利·比彻先生走进普利茅斯教堂，发现那儿有他的几封信。他打开其中一封，发现里面只有两个字：傻瓜。他平静而又认真地把这件事告诉了教友们，他是这样说的：“我遇到过很多写信时忘了签名的人，但只签名却忘了写信的人，我只遇到这一次。”

An artist

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

    “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death, When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

    “That's wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What's the bad news?”

    “He is your doctor.”

If I am a manager

    One day in class, a teacher asked his students to write a composition: “If I Am A Manager”.

    All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

    “I'm waiting for my secretary,” answered the boy.

 

That's not my job

    This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

    There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

    It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody else when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.