You Are to Blame
　　The teacher is droning away 1 in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.
　　The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey, wake that student up!”
　　The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”

How to Save Life?
　　One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
　　A premed 2 student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information?”
　　“To save lives. ” The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
　　A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
　　“It keeps the ignoramuses 3 like you out of medical school,” replied the professor.

Ground Rules
　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll 4 sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, “Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don’t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding 5 them on the desk to make sure they’re still running.”

你的责任
　　老师讲课枯燥乏味，突然他注意到后排的一个学生在睡觉。
　　于是老师向睡觉生的同桌高声叫道：“嘿，把他叫醒！”
　　同桌高声回嘴说“是你把他讲睡着的，你自己把他弄醒！”

怎样算救命？
　　一天，教授正在课上讲解一个复杂的概念。
　　一个医学院预科生粗鲁地打断教授的讲解，问道：“我们为什么要学这些不相干的东西？”
　　“为了救命。”教授马上回答了他，然后继续上课。
　　几分钟后，这个学生又大声问道：“可是物理怎么能救命呢？”
　　“它能让你这种笨蛋进不了医学院。”教授答道。

基本原则
　　位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味、了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲，看它们是不是还在走。
　　1. drone away v. 闲混
　　2. premed ['pri:'med] n. 医学院预科
　　3. ignoramus [7ignE'reimEs] n. 不学无术的人，无知识的人
　　4. droll [drEul] adj. 好笑的，滑稽的，逗趣的
　　5. pound [paund] v. 连续重击，连续敲打